Dear $250kers

Dear $250kers,

Now that you don’t pay your fair share of taxes, and roads will go unpaved, public schools will continue failing to attract talented teachers due to non-competitive salaries, police departments layoffs will go the way of fire houses ushering an era of volunteer police officers, libraries will close, corn farmers will abandon their fields, soldiers in Afghanistan will go without helmets, while all that happens please do me one little favor.

When you sit at your board meetings, looking over the company budget, please choose to give me a raise from $60k to $90k (at the very least) because now I have to pay tolls on deteriorating roads to get to your company’s office and do your company’s work.

I now have to pay private school tuition for eighteen years just so that my child will be competitive for a college’s admissions board, then I have to buy four to six years of that college’s tuition because there is no more pesky wasteful spending on education grants.

I have to pay Amazon’s prices, shipping & handling to read the books that Benjamin Franklin foolishly thought should be freely accessible in big wasteful government spending libraries.

I have to pay for a private security company to patrol my streets.

Please, increase my salary for the 40 to 60 hour work weeks, five to six days, 50 weeks a year, while you make money lounging poolside off capital gains investments.  Yes, I work damn hard for my money and now need more of it so that I may buy food without high fructose corn syrup added only to subsidize corn farmers who would actually have a lucrative alternative fuel market if, you, the $250kers at the top of oil companies allowed ethanol research and the reproduction of alternatively fueled cars.

I’d also like to avoid consuming high fructose corn syrup, not so much to preserve my girlish figure but more so to avoid type 2 diabetes which is a rather expensive disease what will cost me the daily insulin supplements, glucose meters, regular doctors’ appointments, and not to mention that because you $250kers continue to restrict company healthcare insurance while also increasing dividends for your insurance and pharmaceutical company stockholders (your fellow $250kers), for whom you championed against affordable government options to healthcare and ensured that by (now) not paying your fair share of taxes, those government healthcare options will become nothing more than desperate and grossly under-serviced healthcare options.  So I really need a higher income to pay the hospital expenses I’ll incur and pass on to my children at the end of my life.

Oh and one last request before I die, could you please increase my child’s salaries when entering the workforce? As he or she will likely have children patrolling your draughted oil fields in the Middle East but as you don’t pay your share of the tax burden anymore, the army can’t afford helmets.  I’d like a salary to pay for their helmets as they put their lives on the line for your bottom line.  40% of your income was too much to ask, I get that but the solider gives 100% of his or her life – isn’t that entirely way too much ask?

You, $250kers who only make up 3% of the United States population but possess 80% of the wealth, keep your wealth and leave it up to the 97% of us who are diving up only 20% of the wealth to the foot the bill for the military that protects you.  So let’s make a deal, you continue avoiding taxes, just pay me what I deserve for the decades of hard work I’ve given and the blood of my children who I’ve given to protect your interest overseas.

Don’t pay taxes, fine but at least pay me.  Deal?
Thank you sincerely,
The Rest of Us